Bournemouth Relationship Counselling

Couples facing relationship problems typically have three broad options open to them, which I list below and go into more detail in the following paragraphs:

1. Muddle through

2. Change the relationship to be the way you want it to be

3. End the relationship

Muddle Through

Couples wishing to muddle through typically either do not attend counselling or need a small number of sessions to get things off their chests. They are not seeking to make wholesale changes to the relationship.

Change The Relationship

In my experience, for the vast majority of couples, the source of relationship problems is the breakdown of communication.

Issues affecting the relationship are ignored or explode as arguments. Either way the issues are not resolved.

I work with couples to:

· Agree the objectives of counselling

· Improve listening and communication

· Move towards an assertive style of communication

· Raise and explore issues in a constructive way

· Generate a range of possible actions

· Agree compromises i.e. “win-win solutions”

· Rebuild trust and intimacy

· Explore the origins of problem behaviour, as an aid to changing the behaviour—which often includes reviewing family backgrounds

The list above is not meant to imply that there is a simple, fixed formula for counselling couples—it just gives you an indication of the way I tend to work.

End The Relationship

Relationship counselling is not always about keeping couples together. If you are thinking about splitting or have decided to split, you may want to talk about a variety of topics:

· Where did we go wrong?

· Will our problems recur in future relationships?

· What do we tell the children?

· What will our relationship be after the split?

· How do we handle the legal and financial fallout?

This is a major decision which will potentially affect you for the rest of your life, in terms of: your emotional situation, your children (if you have any), and your finances. It’s worth talking it through before you make irrevocable decisions.

Couple Counselling