Bournemouth Relationship Counselling

Starting a Family?

Starting a family can be one of the most fulfilling experiences of your relationship (and your life).

If you are shortly due to start your family then please accept my Congratulations.

However, based on my experience as a Relate Counsellor, I have to warn you that there are risks.

Absolutely, without a doubt, the single most common story I hear from couples starting counselling goes along these lines:

“We had a good relationship, then we had the kids, we love them to bits, now they are getting independent and we just don’t have anything in common any more— s/he is thinking about divorcing me—what should we do?”.

Obviously, I simplify, but believe me this is a very common and sad story.

Starting a family is a major change to your life styles both as a couple AND as individuals. It can have impacts on many areas of your life— did you know for example that:

· after child birth, due to chemical changes in the mother’s body, it generally takes two years to recover libido?

· having three children under five is generally accepted  a predictor of Post Natal Depression?

I don’t mean to be alarmist —but recognise that there is a risk and that you can take action to avoid these well-documented pitfalls and keep your relationship on track!

What I can offer is to help you create a “survival plan” for your relationship before you start your family, to talk about your hopes and expectations and your strategies for coping.

The potential benefits this approach are substantial!